Tang is my favorite of the Old School beverages. It was created in the 1950s – a time in American history where all the scientists not busy making nuclear bombs were busy taking real food and making it fake. (See Sugar Frosted Flakes v breakfast, Cheeze Whiz v. cheddar, cookie dough in a tube v. mom, TV dinners v. all food on the planet.)

In the case of Tang, scientists took America’s fascination with all things Florida and our love of citrus and condensed it down to a grainy, day-glo orange powder that almost dissolved all the way in a glass of water. Tang wasn’t juice. Oh hell no. Tang transcended juice to become a whole new category – Instant Breakfast Drink.

(Sub)Urban legend has it that Tang was created for NASA. Not true, but Tang did latch on to the space race craze in the late 60s, which boosted its sales. Today, it’s been reclassified as a “juice drink” by Kraft and is available in a ton of flavors, including something called Jamaica Hibiscus, which I imagine was created especially for the College Kids Who’ve Run Out of Shit to Put Rum In market.

Check out this awesome Tang commercial from 1967. The music and camera angles make this feel like something Quentin Tarantino would create -- minus the bloodshed.

Once upon a time there was this boy named Vanilla Milkshake. He wasn't any old milkshake -- no he was an artisan milkshake, handcrafted with ice cream made from milk fresh from an award-winning cow. He was carefully blended with the right amount of pure vanilla bean and caramel from the finest sugars. Creamy and perfect with a fluffy cap of delicious dairy foam, Vanilla Milkshake was a delight. This guy was going places!

Once upon the same time, there was a girl -- a bawdy Irish girl named Stout. She was brash and dark and not the least bit ashamed to be a little thick. She the the kind of girl who started and then ended all her own fights down a the pub.

One fine day, Vanilla Milkshake met Stout, I don't know....let's say at a party. How they met really isn't important and is actually a touchy subject of much debate. What is important is that these two crazy kids spent 100 days making sweet, mad love in an old bourbon barrel.

And the end result is the AMAZINGLY delicious Goose Island County Brand Stout. Thick, flavorful, and maybe a little reckless -- albeit carefully planned recklessness. If you want a beer that is the centerpiece of your meal, this is it.